equine therapy spokane
Equine Facilitated Learning Coaching and Healing
Phone 509 - 876 - 1802
Rhoda Ingstad, Retired Teacher
Phoenix, AZ
R.Crea, M.Ed.
Spokane, WA
Coming out of Isolation into a Place of Comfort
As I sat on one of the boards at the back of the corral thinking looping thoughts of abandonment and isolation, I distanced myself from the world. I heard Gloria check in with me asking whether I would like to have happen with the horse, but I couldn’t answer. I really didn’t think that the horse would even want to be near me as the stories in my head were really dark where my world was unsafe and I was unworthy of being loved or cared for or even associated with. I was also unworthy of the responsibilities that I have been given or were in the process of being given, and if anyone could actually see me for who I really am, they would run as far away and fast as they could, and I wondered if that was exactly what everyone who mattered to me was doing? So I just sat there, not expecting anything.
What happened next was pretty amazing. The horse walked over to stand as close to me as she could. I buried my face into her shoulder and caressed her soft hair that was warmed by the sun. I took in her horse smell, felt her body move as she took in fresh air, and I felt a comfort come over me. Feelings of safety and security coated the stories of abandonment and isolation and the darkness started to dissipate.
My thoughts flew to this mare, and I told myself she was not prepared to work with me. I did not see Gloria ask her if she would be willing to meet me right where I need to be met. The horse just knew that I needed closeness, connection, and comfort. Then I remembered how I have witnessed how the horses have so amazingly met others in session’s right where they needed to be met. And complete amazement of these sentient beings swept over me.
I wanted to stay there with my horse for an eternity because I felt a complete sense of safety and comfort, but I knew that it was impossible because I would soon need to leave and go back to reality which was not so pleasant. Listening to my inner thoughts I noticed I was standing close to my horse and that didn’t match my reality at the moment, so I stepped away. The horse followed me and moved in close to me again.
The all-too-familiar stories of abandonment came up again, and as I repeatedly stepped back from her, she turned away, walked to her stall and got a drink of water. I noticed that the other horse followed her putting his head over to hers seeming to comfort her as she had just comforted me. I learned that water represents emotion and that it was unique for my horse to get a drink during a session.
Processing my session I recognized it wasn’t the horse who ended the session, it was me. I saw the pattern of my inner experience energetically affecting my outer experience; to pull away from her each time she moved close to me.
What I took away from my session was that it is my perception that others are abandoning me and that I isolate myself. I really do want connection and closeness and yet I choose to isolate myself. I come close to the people who I care about and who care about me, and then I run away. Those who care about me come in to comfort me, to let me know how much I matter to them, and the stories take over; “how anyone could possibly love me” and I run away to disappear and isolate myself from everyone who cares and loves me.
I absorbed the memory and sensations of standing so close to my horse and burying my face into her shoulder, taking in her horse smells, and feeling her body as it moved with each breath. I remember how that moment felt so incredibly comforting to me. It took me back to the memory of little me hiding under the table with my blanket and my dog, or just my blanket and sucking my thumb, for comfort and soothing.
Wow! What an eventful journey I have been on since my healing session with horse! During my session I couldn’t tell what was going on in my head or body. When you made the observation that the horse was standing with his head close to my core releasing a lot of energy (licking, chewing, eyes rolling, yawning) I was not even aware of that. Yet afterwards I felt that my whole chest area was cleared of tension and angst. It made no sense to me! While I was laying in my bed that night I kept trying to figure out what had happened, but finally I realized it was totally right brain and preverbal. It was then that I experienced a guttural sigh from the deepest part of my body.
In your next group class, while I was trying to figure out what to share about my experience, I started having huge muscle spasms in my back that shook my whole body. (My back is where I have stored my entire trauma.) I had at least 6 of those huge spasms. I felt a huge shift and knew it was a continuation from my session with horse. I was still without words to explain it.
Then, when talking to my empathy buddy, I realized that the healing was all preverbal trauma and felt a great sense of relief. I felt forgiveness for my mother. I felt an openness all through the core of my body. Now when I breathe it feels like my breath goes all the way down to my toes!! The knots in my back have continued to release and go away. My words are coming back which is a huge healing and relief.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart for this experience - even though my left brain couldn’t understand how being with a horse could facilitate healing!! I was doubtful anything could come from this, and yet it was the most powerful and deepest healing I have had!! The healing relied on the environment, YOUR SKILL, and AWARENESS, with the Black Horse’s RESONANCE!
Ron, Spokane, WA
The horses were amazing. I have been around horses before but never focused on them the way I did at your place. I was with a being that was ten times my weight that had no tie to me; it was mutual trust and a curiosity that bonded us.
I went in with the black horse and started to feel acceptance. I stroked his side firmly with the palm of my hand and put my hand on his muscular shoulder, between the top of his leg and neck, and felt his powerful muscles. I experienced an attachment, like we were relying on one another. I started listening with more than my ears. All of his movements meant something. When his head went up he was alert. This made me feel small and insignificant in relation to this large majestic creature.
What I took away from this initial experience was how many might feel around me, as I am 6'4" and rarely feel this way. I really didn't know that the horse was that tall, as horses usually bend down to meet the person greeting them at their level. I could feel small, or, I could feel protected. His ears also showed me what sounds he was focusing on and what direction they were coming from. The horse was also curious of my hand and gave me a nibble. This was unexpected but I didn't let it bother me. I think I was being tested. I feel I passed.
I was also asked to make him move without touching him. I walked away and crouched down, which I’m guessing the horse felt safe and curious, and he came to me. I guess I could have tried some sign language but this was all I could think of. I think the experience was good for both of us. I say this because at the end he opened his mouth and put his head down and it seemed like he was losing his lunch, but in reality he was releasing energy that I may have given him or my interaction may have allowed him to release his own energy. This was a real eye opener. Thanks for the opportunity for this experience.