How We Welcome Relationships
What kind of relationship do you currently have with your child? When you think about your relationship, what happens in your body? Do you experience an opening within or a sense of contraction?
One of my daughters and I recently spent a whole day together caring for my three youngest grandchildren, taking them on an outing for a friend's birthday party. During lunch the children asked me for more Cheetos. When I gave it to them, I noticed a furrow between my daughter's eyes as she watched me.
My internal alarm system began ringing a muted danger signal, and I soon noticed my heart rate increase, my chests tighten, and tension began to form at the base of my neck. With intention, I welcomed the sensations, breathing into them as I acknowledged to myself that when I am being watched closely I feel nervous, uncertain and worried - so very much wanting relaxation, to have fun, closeness and a shared joy, especially
in relationship with this daughter of mine I rarely see these days. Breathing into my heart's desire, I felt a small lump in my throat as I named how much I have missed this sense of closeness since she's moved away. My shoulders relaxed their held tension as I released just the sense of "wanting," and I came back to the solid ground of my held intention to have a relationship with all of my children that is one of unconditional love and presence. At that moment I felt curiosity about my daughter's experience and wondered if she was holding some concern for the children's well-being close to her heart.
We all experience struggles with being able to move into a space of welcoming relationships with children we love, especially when we find ourselves in a sea of uncertainty. This welcoming exercise enabled me to smile each time I would catch her eyes, to smile with all the warmth and love my heart could offer, while remaining engaged with a sense of curiosity and wonder as we spent this time together. Her brow relaxed, her eyes became quizzical, and then she smiled back.
As I move farther along this journey of learning to welcome my own experience, I find my relationships with others deepening exponentially.
