Choosing to Live in Relationship

Have you ever experienced life as being so full and complex that there is hardly enough space within yourself to take a breath? Or maybe you experience so many differing things vying for your attention, you can barely even think, let alone be able to stay present and in choice, about what to attend to next? How do you live in congruence with your own personal values? Are you in full choice around what you are about in life?

I notice within my being a complexity of sensations, emotions, protective impulses, inner images, stories, and a fluctuating ability to truly stay present to my full experience in a given moment. I am noticing how my growing ability to track my own variety of experience, with self and while relating with others, enables me to feel more alive, vibrant, and in full choice around whatever I am about.

This summer brought me an opportunity to transition into a different schedule with Rylan, the one who is my son. As I looked at my schedule, I sensed a tension in my shoulders that radiated up my neck as one part of myself wondered how on earth I would possibly be able to maintain the flow of my work. Turning slightly, I felt the welcoming warmth of my Compassionate Presence acknowledge just how much I love what I do. Needs met for inspiration, joy, meaning and purpose as well as contribution in the lives of others.

As I sat in this warmth, welcoming any images that floated into consciousness, including colors of blue and green, I sat with the beauty of all that contributes towards sustainability, and the need for self-trust that the creative flow of Life will continue to hold all the pieces of transition with care. Instantaneously, dreams of possibilities for fun and play, and a down-shift into relaxation, sprang into mind. I then purposefully arranged "free" days on my calendar to be in relationship with others in nature, especially with my children and grandchildren.

Rylan is now thirteen and growing into being a young man, with his voice deepening and nearly standing as tall as me. As I gaze at him in my mind's eye, I feel a clutching in my gut, acknowledging how all too soon he too will be grown and ready to spread his wings to follow his own inner knowing just as his older siblings have. Feeling my eyes moisten at the thought of how each of my children grew so quickly and the opportunities to join with them are less frequent, I notice my chest swell with a fierce love for each one, and I deliberately chose to be about enjoying every moment I have to join with them, especially Rylan, during these very formative years as he develops into an adult.

As I set my resolve, spontaneously taking a deep, cleansing breath, my throat constricts and releases, and I notice internally the sense of being clear and focused. Smiling to myself, I feel immense gratitude for Awareness, totally energized and at peace with what is in this moment.

There is a complexity of experience the Compassionate Part of myself holds while acknowledging the varying degrees of consciousness within me; the physical, the emotional, the biochemical, the mental, and the One that breathes across them all - the timeless spiritual aspect of my sense of Self. How will I navigate the waters of Life with the one who is my son? It's as if I am at the top of a mountain pass, preparing to glide down through the glaciers of ice and snow, sensing my way...a descent into direct experience...mindfully exhilarating in choice with each opening of the way - choosing to live In Relationship in the Now.