The Power of Presence

“You’re not my mom, you’re a hologram!” my son cried out, with eyes wide, and the corners of his lips turned downward. Feeling momentarily stunned, I automatically slowed down my inner experience by taking a deep breath in through my nostrils, and noticed my stomach was tight and my breathing was shallow. As I monitored my inner world, I further noticed my back was rigid, and the whole of my experience felt surreal, as if I was looking out of my eyes from a great distance.

How do you stay present in the face of perceiving an unexpected attack? What happens in your body as you take in the heightened expression of your child or loved one?

Checking within the body, to notice the layers of perception, activates the mindsight circuits of the brain. Letting the internal sensations of the experience fill the awareness, enables one to direct the energy and information flowing through the nervous system with the focus of attention. Where attention goes, neural firing in the brain occurs, and neural connections are strengthened. This attentional focusing, with mindful awareness, enables our brains to literally grow more integrative fibers, which in turn empowers our ability to regulate emotions, attention, the thought field, and the capacity to pause with reflection rather than reaction.

Having dropped into my own inner experience, I noticed that my ‘apparently normal personality’ had stepped forward, to protect and support my implicit memories of fear from overwhelming me completely. Rather than reacting from that disconnected self, I mindfully connected to Source Energy and felt an infusion of trust, faith, and companionship, where my Compassionate Observer creates a welcoming and safe refuge. Here, in this inner sanctuary, it is possible for me to own my own perceptions, to remain in congruence with my own values, regardless of what others may say or do.

“He’s just getting so big!” my implicit parts whispered, “His voice booms in my ears, the words come so fast, and I have to hide!”

“Hmm,” my Compassionate Observer murmured, “Just needing a little acknowledgment what it’s like to experience this energy, and needing to differentiate it within your body?” my Compassionate Observer asked. “To have a little more warmth and softness, for space to integrate what happens in the now? Do you need to know and trust that you really do exist, and your experience matters in the world? Especially in relationship with the one who is your son?”

Soaking up these guesses I felt a visceral shift as my body expanded, my breathing deepened, and I noticed a perceptual lightness in my forehead as my vision cleared and widened. Ah – presence!

Gazing upon my son, I intentionally sent him pure love and light energy, from my heart space to his heart space. I watched as his body shifted, and his eyes caught mine - changing from troubled and upset to quizzical, he asked, “What are you doing?”

With a warm smile, I responded, “Sending you love energy.”

An immediate shift of softness covered his body as he uncurled and voiced softly, “Aw… Mom.” A slow, warm smile softened the contours of his face, and reached his eyes.

As we learn to become more present in life, at any age, it helps us to become more resilient, the capacity to remain more flexible and strong in the face of stress. Presence creates the gifts of happiness and well-being in our lives.